Soul Submissive

S had been watching a documentary that I could hear from the bedroom. I only heard bits and pieces, but I determined it had something to do with children who had grown up without a father.

Later, when he came to bed he was very sweet and gentle. He held me close and I could tell he wanted to take the dominant role. He had been out of sorts for a few days, standoffish, and I didn't want to spook him. I often let him choose what role he needs and assume the role he needs from me. It had been a long time since he wanted to be the Dom and I was happy to oblige.

Earlier in the week we had quarreled over the way he forgets to comfort me. He informed me that it wasn't that he forgets, but he becomes so confused he doesn't know quite what to do. He fears doing the wrong thing, so he often does nothing. Tonight he wanted to make up for all of that.

He held me close and told me I was his girl. He cuddled and kissed me, assured me I was a good girl and very loved. Eventually we began to be sexual and finally, he had me pinned up to the headboard, fucking me gently but firmly. It felt good, wonderful in fact, but then I started to feel afraid. I didn't see it coming. . . but the fear began to set in.

After we both came he held me close and I clutched him tightly.

"Promise me you love me. Promise me you'll protect me. Promise me you won't share me with anyone. . ."

The words that slipped from my mouth surprised even me.

We cuddled and talked for awhile until I calmed down. I mustered up all of my courage, tried not to think about what I needed to say, and just spat the words out.

"I love being your little girl, and I love the comfort and security. But I don't think my little girl should have sex anymore."

S responded surprised but supportive.

"Of course! Sure. That's fine."

I left the bed and wept for a few minutes in the bathroom. Once I calmed down and came back to bed, and to him, and explained. I hadn't known I felt this way. I need to be loved and accepted, unconditionally. I want the love I got from my Dad as a girl. But as a little girl, for me, I don't want sex. I just want love.

I was amazingly relieved after this. He's been incredibly sweet, nurturing, and kind since then. I'm a very lucky girl.

"For men there's alot of pressure. We are expected to lead, to have answers, to solve problems. I don't think many women realize the amount of pressure men are under."

S had enjoyed a couple of beers and when we returned home, he lie down on the sofa nude. He was rubbing his tummy, looking up, just sharing his thoughts uninhibited.

"Being a man, we are expected to take charge of situations. As the head of the household, we are expected to have solutions. Sometimes things go wrong. Hell, things always go wrong. And when things go wrong, I'm the one who hears the complaints; I'm the one that has to deal with the disappointment. I feel bad when I've disappointed everyone. It makes me feel worthless; I feel like I didn't measure up as a man."

I could hear the sadness in his voice, remembering days of his past.

"There's no relief. When you're the head of the household, the man in charge, where can you go to hide? I can take off for a day or so, have a few beers now and then, but that pressure is just waiting there for me when I return. And how much relief can I feel just knowing it's waiting there for me when I return? There's no relief."

His voice had reached a stressed pitch. I finished changing into my lounging clothes and emerged from the closet, through the bathroom and into the living room. I knew he needed to see me at that moment.

"That's what I love, well one of the things I love, about being submissive. I hand myself over and that pressure that I've lived with my entire adult life is gone. The heaviness is off of my shoulders and I'm only expected to serve. If you need something or want something from me, you'll tell me, and I can do it, right away. But that pressure of coming up with answers I don't have is gone. I love being submissive with you."

I smiled and told him I loved him. He smiled back. This was a precious moment as a Domme and I knew it. It's not every day that a man can open up and intimately share feelings that run so deep. I was so proud of my Sweet Boy.