Soul Submissive

Having lost 55 lbs has been incredibly life changing for me. I still have a few pounds to lose, but I feel far more attractive, for the most part.

S finds me more sexy than I find myself. Recently, while browding through a clothing store, I held up a short, tight, black skirt. I knew he would like it, even though I hadn't worn anything so sexy in many years. He smiled slightly and encouraged me to purchase it.

The next evening we were headed out for drinks with friends. I donned the skirt, pantiless, of course, with sexy black heels. He smiled slightly with pleasure.

"Do I look ok?" I inquired.

"You look good," he replied with very little enthusiasm. But s says only what he means. Enthusiasm is not his strong suit, so if he says it, I trust he means it and try not to read between the lines.

My friends all commented on how hot I looked, as I tried to fight the insecurity inside. At the mirror in the Ladies Room two ladies also commented.

"You look so hot!" they both said.

Breaking out is hard, probably for everyone. Owning my sexuality is new and exciting, and S has helped me achieve that by requiring me to try. He never requires I do, only try.

I realized, while mounted on top of S, as he moaned with ecstasy, that control had shifted. I grabbed his hair, and while ferociously riding his cock, informed him that he was mine. He whimpered agreement. I took it a step further, asking him if we was My Sweet Boy. Again, with a whimper, he repeated, "Yes, yes, yes. . . "


We've been transitioning to and fro for a few weeks now, each of us from dominant to submissive, and back again. I have a difficult time knowing when the shift occurrs, as it is always S who initiates it. Most of the time he is dominant. He still sets the pace, keeps control, and let's me know how he's feeling. But I wait patiently for my opportunities to engulf him and make him mine. In those interludes his only purpose is to please me, which he does with great passion and humility.


Another facet has also entered our lives: equality. Somewhere in the swing between dom & sub lies this middleground. For the most part, in our day to day of sharing his apartment, we are equals. We work, play, dine, vacation, talk, love, and grow together as equals. But what I realize is that we both have our strong suits, and our weaknesses. There are times when I need his enormous strength, guidance, and wisdom and times he needs my tenacious fortitude and nurturing kindness.


Perhaps the roles have not changed at all. Perhaps the relationship has simply developed more roles.