Soul Submissive

I want to consume him, to devour him, to hold him inside of me and keep him safe, satiating my lust from within.

For now, I must be satisfied with owning him physically. His body belongs to me, to love and adore at my hands. His cock belongs to me, to kiss, to suck, to handle, to fuck. His cum belongs to me. Not one drop will spew without my say so, nor without his cock embedded within me. I hoard each drop, enjoying the tickle of the drips escaping past my labia and onto my thighs. After he cums, I keep my thighs unclothed, so I can feel it drip for hours and smell him in on me.

He pleases me with his passion. My mouth waters at the sight of his eyes, looking up from his knees, waiting for my approval.

He is my Sweet Boy.

"I'm just not going to pay the mortgage anymore. Thank you very much for your time, but you're not helping me." I hung up the phone. The escrow representative had frustrated me beyond all reason, so my empty threat was all I had left.

I was still lying in bed. Remembering to call the bank first thing this morning, I had reached for the phone and called before my feet ever hit the floor. Now I was whining and weeping, frustrated that the bank had made an error in my escrow and having no luck getting someone to make the correction. The error was costing me an extra $500 monthly, although the money was going into my escrow account. It has just been so infuriating to be strapped for cash when it's someone else's error.

S reached over to console me. I didn't want any financial help, nor to discuss it any longer, as I had made my way through 5 representatives in 3 departments discussing, and getting nowhere. His touch was all I wanted, all I needed. He stroked my back, kissed my chest and my arm, touched my hair, wiped my tears, and cuddled me. I relaxed in his embrace. His kiss on my lips pushed the thoughts of money from my head for a moment. When I pulled away to look in his eyes, the frustration came back. I pressed my lips to his quickly to push the bad feelings away. It worked. I kissed deeper this time, sucking his tongue and bottom lip. I felt my body begin to respond.

Pushing my tongue into his mouth, he pulled me into him, and the kiss was warm and soothing. My body became stimulated, my pussy started to moisten and all I could feel was passion. I pushed him on his back and climbed up on him. Straddling his hips, I pinned his shoulders to the bed and looked into his eyes.

"Your only purpose is to make me feel better right now. I need to feel better. Lie still and let Mistress feel better. Don't struggle. I need this right now."

I rode him hard, pressing his face to the side against the mattress, until my body shuddered with orgasm. Breathless, I collapsed on top of him, kissing his sweet face and thanking him for taking care of me. He groaned with pleasure, barely audible.

"May I come now Mistress?"

"Yes, Sweet Boy. Yes. You did a good job. Come on now, cum."

He grasped my hips, furiously fucking me from underneath, gasping with ecstasy as he came.

I'm not sure if I've ever used someone so blatantly before. When I was a kid, I made friends with a neighbor who had a pool, just so I could swim there. As a teen, I went to the prom with a guy I didn't really like, just to go to the prom. In my twenties, I dated guys just to go out to nice restaurants. I've even talked a few guys into helping me financially from time to time, even though I didn't really care much for them. But to use a man in this way, well, I'm sure I've never done that before.

However, I will be doing it again.

Words are not enough. Just agreeing with me is not submission.

By the same token, actions are not enough. Just going through the motions, following commands, can often be empty gestures. This is not submission. This is compliance. This is obedience. And sure, I appreciate compliance and obedience. Often these are a turn on. But do not mistake them with submission, because they are not.

S understands what I want. He understands my definition of submission. He knows when he's feeling submissive and knows when he's behaving submissive. More importantly, he knows the difference. I have no desire to command a servant who is only "acting" submissive. Christ, anyone can do that! Give a person a gun to hold against the head of a victim, and you have compliance and obedience. I know. I've had it done to me.

I was 18 years old that June when the intruder kicked in my back door and ran up into the loft, standing at the foot of my bed. He was pointing a gun at my face. I knew immediately that I was in grave danger, and these may be my final moments. I complied. For the next hour, as he robbed me, destroyed my apartment, raped me, ate food from my kitchen, killed my cat, and beat me bloody, I complied. That is, until I had had enough. Tied up on the floor, spitting blood, I rolled onto my back and stood up in one swift motion.

"Get the FUCK out of my apartment! What do you fucking want? You've taken everything. Now, GET THE FUCK OUT!!"

He ran out the door. I never saw him again.

What he didn't have was dominance over me. He never did. I complied. I acted "as if" for him, to save myself. He didn't get what he came for, because that was mine alone to give. One must give submission! No one can take that from another.

Fear does not bring submission. Just the opposite. Fear brings compliance. With S and I, only love brings submission. Only in the comfort of my arms can he let his guard down and give himself to me, freely and wholly, because he chooses to. I want nothing less than that, and only when I've earned it. Only when I've worked hard enough to make him feel safe can I have the satisfaction of his servitude.

This morning while cuddling, after his time confined to our bed for our Sunday Submission Project, I released him from his bonds. I told him he was free and he had served me well. My goal of 6 ejaculations was just a pretense for the project. What I had truly wanted was for him to feel insulated enough from his every day life to relax and surrender to his sexual being. In the actions there were very few minor differences between this sexual escapade and any other we may have. But emotionally, I feel we went deeper than we ever have before, sharing our ideas, feelings and thoughts on our D/s relationship frankly and lovingly. It was beautiful.

"I want to please you for the rest of you life," he softly declared as he held me tight and kissed my breasts.

I began to cry. I was so deeply touched by his surrender, his desire to please me, his loving affection and complete abandon, I wept uncontrollably. When I regained myself I kissed his forehead over and over, embracing him with all of my might.

"You're a good boy. You're a very, very good boy. I love you so! You're a very good boy."

Those were the words we had both longed to hear.

My Sweet Boy lie in the bed beside me, declaring his devotion to me and his willingness to please me. I cleared my mind, able to relax in his embrace, his mouth resting upon my nipple to suckle, his hard cock pressed against my thigh. The precum began to ooze onto my skin and I relaxed into my cleared mind and pleasured body.

I realized S had but one purpose in these moments. His purpose is to please me sexually. Suddenly I wondered, how much cum could he produce in a 12-hour period? How many times could I arouse him, tease him, cum him, and rest him until he was completely spent? How much sex can he give, can he take?

I've decided to submerge him into complete submissiveness this Sunday. Beginning Saturday night, he will be confined to bed. He must wait until his "toilet time" to leave the bed, walk to the toilet, and return immediately. Aside from that, he must remain in the bed until he reaches my goal.

My goal will be that he must cum 6 times for me, in me, before he can leave the bed. If it takes him two days, then so be it. He may not use his phone, his computer, read or watch television until he has completed his task. The only exception to this is that I will be choosing some websites relating to him goal that he will be required to view.

I will keep him fed and watered, as I would any good pet, as well as cuddled and comforted. He can sleep and rest as he needs to. His only restriction will truly be to remain in our bed. His only goal, his only purpose, will be to submit completely and please me sexually.

I own him. I own his cum, even before it is produced. I own his body, his heart, his mind. But our souls are twin flames, burning together eternally.

"You want to get in my head, don't you? You always seem to be watching me, analyzing me. It makes me uncomfortable. It seems your studying me."

When S says this, he's suspicious, fearful, and accusing. What my Sweet Boy doesn't realize is that I mean to do this from love. I'm not trying to "get in his head" to hurt him, but to better understand his needs.

S cannot communicate well.

More often than not, when I ask a question he is unable to answer verbally. Often he cannot even respond physically. He simply stares at me. Occasionally he can't even look in my direction. From time to time he will brush his fingertips against me, looking away. Other times he will grunt, "Hmmm?" in a sweet, curious way. I'm learning to take what he can give.

What we've learned in therapy and through many, many discussions, is that he's not ignoring me. He's trying to formulate the "proper" answer, so as to prevent disappointing me. In the past when I became angry due to this huge misunderstanding on my part, he felt like a huge failure and the feelings of inadequacy overwhelmed him. Once that happened he would withdraw, sometimes for days, into a cave of fear.

As his Domme I mean to coax him gently out of this cave and assure him that I won't punish him for this. I don't think this fear will ever completely leave him, although I hope it does. It's been embedded so deeply that it's become part of his character now. What my Sweet Boy doesn't need is punishment. He needs acceptance.

The hardest part of being S's Domme is knowing what he needs and when he needs it. Imagine someone with little to no facial expression most of the time, a monotone voice, withdrawn into his world of work. When he occasionally laughs out loud, or cries with ecstasy, I feel this enormous sense of victory. I know he needs to safely express himself and to be received with love and praise.

My method for "coaxing" is to consume him with my body in intimate moments. I wrap myself around him, lie on top of him, hold him with my strong hands, and whisper questions in his ear. I often feed him answers and encourage him to respond verbally. I make the questions easy, the answers obvious, and help him find the words. The more often he answers, the more praise he receives. I love praising him! I love kissing his sweet, sweet face over and over, offering him my nipple, stroking his cheek and telling him he's such a good boy!

To torture S is simple:

Ask impossible questions in anger
Demand answers now
Withdraw and withhold love and affection
Tell him he's failed
Tell him he's inadequate, inferior or unworthy
Physically punish him without comfort
Refuse comfort at any time he seeks it
Shout at him
Leave without saying goodbye, giving a kiss, and saying when I'll return
Leaving him forever


I'm a hot head with a horrible temper. I'm learning to control that so as to never even brush the edges of these events with S. I don't want him to ever anticipate this will be an end result of any of our encounters.

Some things are off limits. For us, these are.

Recently I've shared my newest erotic fantasy with S, and it was met with enthusiastic pleasure. He simply loved the idea and has been encouraging me to explore the idea further.

My fantasy is probably rather vanilla for most. A beautiful brunette waitress we know from a restaurant we frequent is our subject. Amanda is a fan of mine, and rushes through the restaurant every time I arrive to greet and hug me. She's a real doll, with a beautiful smile and outrageous, taut body.

In my fantasy Amanda is on all fours, tied up so she can not move at all. S lies beneath her, furiously sucking and alternately milking her nipples with his mouth and hands. Amanda is gagged, but not blindfolded, and is receiving a rhythmic machine fucking in her pussy.

Me? I am standing over her with my largest strap on, ass fucking her. It is S's job to comfort, soothe and encourage her to endure when she reaches her breaking point. He is to milk her, both physically and emotionally, to her brink.

When I've determined she's taken all she can, the three of us will cuddle, with Amanda in the middle until she is soothed. She will then suck and love my DD's while S dildo fucks my and licks my clit. Once I've cum clitorally, it will be S's turn.

All of his cum belongs to me, so only I will take his cock in my pussy. While taking a lovely fucking from behind, I will embrace and make out with our beautiful Amanda, until S reaches his orgasm.

Yes, just a fantasy for now. Hopefully soon, reality.

I'm fully in charge now and he has completely relented. S has finally given in to his own desires and is my sweet slave, "My Little Fucking Boy", to be loved and led by his Mistrss. I couldn't be more thrilled.

This was a long time in coming, and we both resisted the obvious for far too long. I would fight my inner nature and listen to my head, not my heart, allowing shame to prevent me from taking my natural and rightful place as his Domme. Ladies don't lead, ladies don't love a good fucking, ladies don't command their man, they submit. How wrong I was! And how much I love and embrace being in charge and being a proud, vibrant, strong, yet feminine and demure Domme! I was meant for this my whole life.

My first order of business was to lay down ground rules. My second was to teach S that he is valuable and worthy of being treated with only dignity. This entailed putting his ex-wife in her place and backing her off of the two of us with the threat of legal action. I looked him deep in the eye when she sent her incredibly submissive text back to me, consenting to my wishes, and told him, "Do you see? I am in charge. I am in control. Not only do you answer to me, but she does as well."

When a woman comes into her own, they all see it, and fall to her feet.

Let the worshiping begin.

I've heard it said, "It's lonely at the top." I realize how true this is. Now that I have found my soulmate, when he is disengaged, or passive, looking for leadership, and not being my touchstone, the feeling of isolation for me can be overwhelming.

We just returned from a 10-day, 6 state, 2500+ mile road trip. We visited some of his family, and he took me to some places I've never traveled. He paid for it all; treated me to fine hotels and delicious meals. Somewhere along the road we defined our relationship to an even greater level, and our last stop was to a bondage store, 300 miles from home. I picked up items I would need to bring him to full submission and placed them on the counter. Then I let him pay.

After driving 700 miles in one day, we arrived home. I made him a nice dinner, he had a drink, and I took charge. Using every item we purchased, and some that had once been purchased for use on me, the transition is complete.

This morning he is passive, quiet (even quieter than usual), and has this longing in his eyes for acceptance, approval, and love. After each interaction throughout the night I cuddled, praised and reassured him. Being the submissive once, I know the importance of this, and the emotional reward it brings.

It is my strength he was attracted to all along. It is my strength that sexually dominates him, emotionally feeds him, and mentally retrains him. My hope is that I have enough to sustain us both. The feelings of loneliness are looming, but I'm sure temporary. Reward is just around the corner; for us both.