Lonely at the Top

Posted on 12:09 PM by Tina

I've heard it said, "It's lonely at the top." I realize how true this is. Now that I have found my soulmate, when he is disengaged, or passive, looking for leadership, and not being my touchstone, the feeling of isolation for me can be overwhelming.

We just returned from a 10-day, 6 state, 2500+ mile road trip. We visited some of his family, and he took me to some places I've never traveled. He paid for it all; treated me to fine hotels and delicious meals. Somewhere along the road we defined our relationship to an even greater level, and our last stop was to a bondage store, 300 miles from home. I picked up items I would need to bring him to full submission and placed them on the counter. Then I let him pay.

After driving 700 miles in one day, we arrived home. I made him a nice dinner, he had a drink, and I took charge. Using every item we purchased, and some that had once been purchased for use on me, the transition is complete.

This morning he is passive, quiet (even quieter than usual), and has this longing in his eyes for acceptance, approval, and love. After each interaction throughout the night I cuddled, praised and reassured him. Being the submissive once, I know the importance of this, and the emotional reward it brings.

It is my strength he was attracted to all along. It is my strength that sexually dominates him, emotionally feeds him, and mentally retrains him. My hope is that I have enough to sustain us both. The feelings of loneliness are looming, but I'm sure temporary. Reward is just around the corner; for us both.


Posted on 5:44 AM by Tina

"I love you Mommy. . . " S gasps as I ride him hard.

It is now that I know my place, who I am in this relationship, who I have always been, all of my life. As a natural caretaker, a nurturer, a mothering type, to find myself in a loving, giving, honest relationship in which I take a leadership role seems the perfect fit.

Submission has given way to dominance. Dominance has grown to submission. Courage has paved the way for truth to rise to the surface, and our true selves have shone through.

I have not assumed a submissive role with S for a few weeks. Not only does he submit to me sexually, but emotionally as well. He has found a place in his heart, and life, where he trusts. He trusts me. And being the one who spent so much time submitting, I realize what that means.

I would never harm him. Nor would I allow anyone else to harm him. I love him so deeply. He is my Sweet Boy. I will cherish him always.