Understanding My Role

Posted on 12:29 PM by Tina

As I have stated, I am a powerful woman. I recognize that I am strong; strong willed, determined, and intelligent. I can use those strengths, and have for many years, to further myself in life. I have also taken the backseat when I felt beaten down by life, and let the road drive away with me. I became tired of the backseat recently, and began this D/s relationship with S, leaving my husband, abandoning most of what I know and believe to explore who I am, or should I say, who ELSE I am.

Being submissive is not something I've ever been able to escape from, because it lingers in my spirit. I deeply believe in the concept of service. So how was I to reconcile this strong, aggressive personality with the belief I hold so true in being a submissive woman? Bottle it up? Bullshit. Wouldn't that just be betraying myself in another way? No, I don't think S wants to be with me to watch me minimize who I am. Nor do I wish to do so for him, or anyone else, ever again.

Last night, while riding my Dom's cock, it all became so clear to me. He loves my strength, my will, my determination, my intestinal fortitude, my drive, my passion, my power, my intellect, my skills of persuasion and manipulation. These are the very traits that attracted him to me. So I looked into his beautiful brown, soulful eyes, and realized he wanted me to be who I am. So how can the two things coexist inside of me?

While riding him, loving him, opening up to him and declaring my devotion to him, the words poured out from my soul and made it all so clear. I wasn't thinking; I was only feeling. Going forward, everything I am, everything I have, everything I do, will all be for his benefit. I will work for him, protect him, love him, comfort him, fight for him, die for him. If anyone were to try to harm him, they would have to kill me first, else I aptly destroy them. My life is now devoted to bringing to S everything I would ever want for myself. My commitment is to better his life, in every way I possibly can.

One major factor in this decision is to improve my own life, to grow as a person, to be all that I can be, so I have not only something for myself, but even more to offer my Dom.

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