Soul Submissive

If there is one thing I have learned in my 45 years of life, it is self discipline. If there is anything my loving, beautiful Dom has learned in his 45 years of life, is that he does not have any desire to manage anyone. This is another example of why he and I are a good fit.

My gorgeous Dom has instituted a diet and exercise regime for me. This came about when I complained about being a size 18, and expressed my great desire to look better. He heard the words, but he looked into my heart, and knew that I meant it. These were not just the whines of a woman who wanted to gripe about, but not solve, her weight problem. This was a plea for help.

S looked into my eyes and asked for a commitment from me. For me, once that commitment was made, there would be no bickering, no negotiating, no bargaining, no pouting. He didn't set these parameters down for me, I set them for myself. This is obedience to me. Do as I am told, without question, even in my mind. If he says it, I do it. Period.

Occasionally I will receive an email with instructions about my diet. He has broken me of at least 10 foods and drinks that I was addicted to. I had no idea I was addicted, but as always, he knows me far better than I know myself. This is why I love him so. He knows me, what I need, what I am capable of, and how to propel me in the best direction.

S simply emails me, and does not follow up. If I make an error in my food choices, he informs me that I have faulted, and it never, ever happens again. For example, I sent him a photo of buffalo wings and ranch dipping sauce. I believed I had made a good choice, so I was proud to show him how well I was following instruction. He reminded me that all fat filled condiments were on the list of forbidden foods, and that meant ranch dip. I nearly broke down crying at the table with my unsuspecting girlfriends, and begged his forgiveness. I had the sauce removed from the table immediately, and apologized to him profusely.

Two weeks later, I forgot, truly forgot, once again, and had ranch on my salad. When it hit me what I had done, I texted him, confessed, and apologized profusely. I was forgiven because he knew I did truly forget, was truly sorry, and because I confessed so rapidly and openly. He informed me that I need to disassociate myself from ranch so this doesn't happen again. We have not discussed it again, and I know that it will never happen again. His approval means everything to me; absolutely everything. To let him down broke my heart. But being dishonest was simply not an option for me.

Had I not confessed, he would not have known. But my obedience is MY responsibility, not his. If managing my behavior his burden, how is that pleasurable for him? Isn't it my job to make his life more pleasurable, more fulfilling, more joyful? My obedience is the best gift I can give to my darling Dom, who has been so very, very good to me. I want to give him the best of what I have to offer.

In about 6 weeks, I have dropped down to a size 14, close to a 12. I want to be completely beautiful and healthy for my Dom, because he deserves no less.