Soul Submissive

I have spent my life dating and being married to men who have strong personalities. Oh, I dated a few weak men, but not for long. Breaking them and taking their money was too easy. One man I was engaged to was worth over $2 million when I met him in my early twenties. When I kicked him out just over a year later, he had less than $10,000 in the bank, he whimpered and begged when I told him it was over, and he was a very broken man.

The realization that I was deeply attracted to strong men was not new to me; it was the difficulty in finding one who didn't want to extinguish my fire inside. Both of my husbands were drawn to me as a moth to the flame, but their own lack of composure filled them with fear, and thus, they lost control. Many strong men are attracted to strong women, but they believe they must break them. I was out to prove I could not be broken. I played their game to suit my own purposes, because I knew I was not only smarter, but stronger. Stronger in my soul.

I was married to Husband #2 for 13 years at the time I met S. Compelled to get to know S, to please him, to just be near him and soak up the radiance of his presence, I worked hard at the position he hired me to do. I confessed, to my chagrin, my feelings for him, more than once. He rebuked me, and made clear that he was not interested in me. S called me one Saturday, in response to an email I had sent in which I had confessed my devotion to him. When S spoke the words of rejection over the phone, as I sat next to Husband #2 watching television, I had to leave the room. The tears began to flow, and I found it impossible to reconcile my life. How had I come to this; needing the approval and affection of S, when I am married to another?

A couple of months later, over a business lunch, the ice broke. Our conversation turned more personal, and I reveled in the thought that he may truly be attracted to me. Days later, he came to my home when I was alone, working, at my request. He touched my skin for the first time in an embrace. We both trembled with emotion. The power in the connection was so great, so forceful, that when we looked into one another's eyes, we knew this would change everything.

I decided the next day to divorce Husband #2, and began to plan my course. Once S had shown me that he wished to be close to me, even if only for a short time, I knew he was the only person that I wanted to touch me. Husband #2 cried, begged, pleaded and negotiated, and every word, every gesture, fell on a heart of stone. Anything I ever felt for him dried up and blew away years before when I realized he not only didn't have control of me, but of himself. He was out of the house less than 5 days later.

The realization for me in all of this was not just that S is my Soulmate, which is what I initially thought.

S is my Soul Master.